


with the wild wolves around you

by lilliputianmerriell



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, implied trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 02:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15742629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilliputianmerriell/pseuds/lilliputianmerriell
Summary: If a rain drop fell from the ceiling within the next five seconds he would stay.





	with the wild wolves around you

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 of Sledgefu Week. Prompt: Road Trip.
> 
> Title from Bon Iver's "The Wolves (Act I & II)",

The ceiling was leaking.

Snafu listened to the sound of rain drops falling from the motel's decrepit roof and splashing down onto the ratty wall-to-wall carpet below. The drips fell in irregular concession and Snafu counted the second between each noise of droplets hitting the crusty, worn down fuzz of the flooring like he used to count the seconds, minutes between each shelling around his little foxhole in the middle of the night on an abandoned island in the Pacific.

Focusing on that rather than the cum leaking from his ass grounded him somewhat, distracted him from the soft snores coming from his bedfellow laying curled up next to him.

Eugene’s auburn hair was glued to his forehead by cold sweat from his nightmares – memories – that had him twisted up in the thin motel sheets, but Snafu could not make himself reach over and soothe away the frown knitting the man’s brows together.

Snafu wasn’t quite certain whether it was his aching body or his racing mind that kept him anchored to his side of the bed. His asshole was still sore and tender after being pounded into for days on end, but it was hardly a contender to the emotional torrent coursing through him.

It was about a six weeks ago since Eugene had showed up on his doorstep one grey Tuesday morning, swallowed up by his coat and with an angry set to his mouth. It had made Snafu’s stomach flop anxiously before he had invited him in for lukewarm tea from a chipped tea set he’d inherited from his late mother.

They’d sat in an uncomfortable silence for about ten minutes before Eugene heaved an impossibly heavy sigh and had set his tea cup down with such a loud clink that Snafu’s mother would have been twisting her apron anxiously in her hands, “I took my parents’ car and don’t know where I am going yet. Possibly nowhere,” Eugene shrugged, staring down onto his hands folded in his lap. It seemed like he wanted to say something, something significant and difficult that Snafu worried had to do with him, but all that tumbles out of Eugene’s mouth is, “Come with me.”

And Snafu does, because he had never been able to say no to Eugene after all.

They’d travelled aimlessly. Had fucked in every city, in every dirt bathroom of every petrol station, in every seedy motel on that side of the Pacific.

Neither of them had done it with another man before Snafu had crawled into Eugene bed the third night of their small tour, when Eugene had planted sloppy kisses wet with fresh tears on Snafu’s eyelids, his brows, his nose, his lips.

His exploring hands had made his intention clear to Snafu who had gasped underneath Eugene’s clever palms. He had wanted to tell him that they shouldn’t do it, that they’d be crossing some invisible line they wouldn’t – couldn’t – come back from if they did this. If they did this, Eugene would be tainted by him, tainted by Snafu’s pitiful existence. If they did this, anyone else would be ruined for Snafu, would never be good enough because he had been touched by nothing short of an angel, he was sure of it.  

Doing it had been selfish, but Snafu was selfish and he had kept his mouth shut except for the pitiful whines that had escaped him when Eugene had wrapped long, slender fingers around his cock.  

And so it’d started.

It didn’t take long before Eugene let Snafu fuck him behind a lone diner along the California State Route 1. He’d been so pliant underneath him as he fucked into him, the concentrated frown on his face as he tried to meet each of Snafu’s thrusts with moderate success sending excited shivers down Snafu’s spine.

It turned out that Eugene gave as good as he got. Only two days later in the middle of fucking nowhere on the north-west coast – after a particularly nasty argument Snafu couldn’t even recall now – Eugene had aggressively latched onto his neck with his teeth as he worked on undoing Snafu’s belt so he could tug his jeans and underwear down to his ankles.

Snafu had surprised himself by liking having Eugene’s dick up his ass. The feeling of fullness was almost overwhelming in its’ intensity, though never before had Snafu felt so present and aware of every movement and touch against his sweaty skin.

When Eugene had started to move, Snafu was certain he had lost both his mind and heart to Eugene that night. And here they were weeks later, at the end of the line once more.

Because Snafu knew he needed to leave. He had been selfish for long enough, for too long, by allowing this to continue.

They could never be what they wanted to be no matter what clever, idealistic words Eugene spun to make it seem like it was even a remote possibility. No matter how much they fooled around, quietly giggling and shushing each other excitedly as they fucked into each other sweet and slow while the rest of the world didn’t exist around them.  

He could never have Eugene.

Finally willing himself to move, Snafu carefully pushed himself off the bed and stepped into the small bathroom. The cum was slowly leaking down his leg, having already started to dry and crust on the inside of his thighs. Grabbing a damp cloth from the sink, he scrubbed at the fluids furiously, making his skin turn red and sore from the rough treatment. It was almost enough to distract him from the painful lump in his throat that threatened to choke him.

Eugene was still soundly asleep when Snafu creeped back into the bedroom. He whimpered pitifully, sounding pathetic and alone, but all Snafu managed to do was stare hollowly while Eugene’s naked body twisted in the sheets, one arm stretching out longingly towards Snafu’s empty side of the bed.

He didn’t want to leave, but he had to because Eugene deserved so much more, someone better. Someone less damaged, less destructive. Some who was kind and loving, just like Eugene was. Someone who could give him what he needed and soothe away all that pain and hurt that Snafu only seemed to antagonize and make worse. Eugene would never heal alongside Snafu, because Snafu only knew how to hurt and ruin, and lingering around Eugene would have Snafu dragging Eugene down with him.

He didn’t want to leave, but he had to – for Eugene’s sake.

Eventually, Snafu had to rip his gaze away and forced himself to get dressed, each movement agonizingly slow.

The rain was still thundering down outside and finding its’ way inside through the dilapidated ceiling. The droplets were falling in more rapid succession now and Snafu thought, five seconds. If a rain drop fell from the ceiling within the next five seconds he would stay.

If the rain drop fell, Snafu could pretend that this was normal. That Eugene and him were meant to be together. They could find somewhere to live, an apartment in the next city they passed through on their ridiculous road trip. They could get a double bed and spend long, sunlit mornings in it before they had to roll out of bed to get to work. Share languid kisses in the kitchen as Snafu cooked his mother’s famous jambalaya. Eugene studying biology by the living room table, his course work and text book spread all over the low-sitting table. They could love as unconditionally and unconcerned as everyone else.

But the rain drop didn’t fall, and Snafu felt his heart break a little as he walked out the door, only casting one last furtive glance over his shoulder to preserve the image of the beautiful man with the fiery hair sleeping fitfully to memory one last time before he leaved the motel in the middle of nowhere to walk into the grey light of the early morning.


End file.
